How To Overcome Shyness When Meeting New People

file0001432978570For some people meeting new people may cause mild or strong shyness. Such persons often have the feeling of discomfort as well as various physical reactions manifested in accelerated heart rate, blush, muscle tension, etc. Shy people do not avoid meeting new people at all costs but when they come into that situation, they almost always feel discomfort.

It’s ok to feel discomfort when meeting new people from time to time, but if that leaves significant consequences on interpersonal and social well-being, you should work on it.

I also had problems with shyness and I coped with it many years ago. Now when I remember those times, it seems to me as unusual and often funny. Time was needed for overcoming shyness but since I adopted new mindset, meeting new people almost always presents a very pleasant experience.

If you are shy when meeting new people, you should know that there is a solution for this problem which lie in changing the way of your thinking.

Find out how I adopted a new way of thinking and how my shyness almost completely disappeared. 


How To Overcome Shyness When Meeting New People

In resolving the problem of shyness, first it’s necessary to realize why it appears.For me this was an extremely important step and I believe it will be for you as well.

Maybe you’re not aware but you actually afraid of what the person you meet will think about you. You’re afraid of his/her negative reactions, critiques, rejection.

People inevitably form some opinions about you, but…

When you meet new people, they necessarily create opinion about you based on your verbal and non-verbal communication. However, what you need to know is that most of the people are quite occupied by themselves and their own problems and they barely think about you. Majority of shy persons does not realize this because they believe they are in the spotlight and that people judge and think about each of their move or word. This is, of course, too far from the truth.

Even if he/she thinks about you, the opinion that person creates is in his or her head and not in yours.You don’t even know that person. Why would that be important to you?

It’s impossible everybody likes you…

Remember that it’s impossible that every person you meet like you. If you manage to achieve this, than something’s wrong with you. There’s also a great possibility that you’ll never again meet that person. Why would you then think whether you will appear as a weird person or whether you’ll make a wrong move or something else?

As an example, think about a boy who liked some girl in the club but he’s too shy to talk to her. He’s thinking in the following way: what if I say something wrong, what if she rejects me, what if say something stupid to her questions, what if, what if…

However, he should ask himself “So what if all that happens?” (and it probably won’t). Really, what will happen? Will he be physically injured? Of course he won’t.  The only thing that can be hurt is his ego which always wants everything to be ideal and that’s simply not possible.

It is absolutely natural that you make mistakes and in the above-mentioned case it is completely normal that a girl refuses the guy if she doesn’t like him. There’s no a person in the world that everybody likes.

When you stop worry about how others perceive you, you’ll achieve exactly what you want…

Sociable persons are exactly the ones who do not care much for other people’s opinion. When people recognize such attitude, they appreciate them even more. Such persons are not better than you neither they make less mistakes.  They simply do not care much about other people’s opinion and they believe their mistakes are a natural thing. That’s why people usually define them as being cool, self-confident and desirable for friendships.

- Conclusion

If you want to overcome your shyness when meeting new people, it is necessary to adopt the new way of thinking as described above. Briefly, people do not think about your moves and sayings as you believe they do and why would you care about the opinion of people which is eventually their personal perception. Persons who do not care about what to say or do in front of other people are perceived as self-confident, cool and desirable for friendship.

Marko Peric (24 Posts)

Marko Perić is blogger and owner of started with his personal development journey 12 years ago. Since January 2013, he began writing articles on self-esteem, motivation, mind power…Read more about Marko here .